Comments on: Sexism Stoplight: The Beauty Curse

By: Ann Valentine

Ann Valentine — Fri, 04 Dec 2009 14:58:34 +0000

Janis and Optix bring great points. I’d also like to say you just can’t trust male advice. Men are in eachother’s corners all the time. I knew I was being underpaid, and I asked men for advice on my pay, knowing I’d probably be lied to, and they lied to me. They actually thought they could convince me that my salary was ‘high’.

By: Janis

Janis — Thu, 03 Dec 2009 22:03:08 +0000

And we receive few message on how to make our resumes look as good as our hair. (And there are the damned-if-you-do situations that can render it all moot, like not getting a promotion because you didnt’ ask, or not getting one because you did and were seen as too pushy.)

I just wish sometimes I heard more young women asking how to make their resumes look their best at a job interview instead of which earrings to wear.

By: Optixmom

Optixmom — Thu, 03 Dec 2009 20:32:34 +0000

When defining appropriate professional clothing for women (in particular, young women) it becomes exceedingly difficult. Fashion mags would have women wearing a cork and two Band-aids to be “trendy” in the workplace. I don’t know how many times I have seen fashion trend shows on the morning talk shows that only highlight clothing for the women in the workplace where the clothing is obscene.

In a perfect world it shouldn’t matter what the women wear to work if they are a professional. I like to wear skirts and heels because I happen to like pretty shoes and I also like to be tall. Height is also a driver in the professional world (at least among men). I also like to be able to walk, so I keep the heels under 1.5″ (not the high-heeled FM Pumps).

Young women receive so many mixed messages on how to dress from our society.

By: Janis

Janis — Thu, 03 Dec 2009 20:17:25 +0000

It won’t work. The men will enjoy the eye candy and still hand promotions and bonuses to one another; those women are being made fools of.

Like I said in another post, if being sexy were all that mattered, every politician and CEO on Earth would be a sexy woman. The truth is they’re still a bunch of ugly old men. Men use and discard sexy women; they don’t REWARD them. Unless they can talk one into believing that being used is a reward, which some are far enough in denial to believe.

By: Ann Valentine

Ann Valentine — Thu, 03 Dec 2009 19:42:40 +0000

Oh Janis thank goodness. That’s a good response to Bes, who is still identifying with the men in this instance and is more interested in putting her in her place and giving her a response that would tip toe around the harasser’s feelings. She needs to take the issue to HR, as soon as possible, so she will have a better chance of working with men who take her seriously. Sexual harassment does not advance careers; contrary to what men think.

On that note, I find it interesting that in my own workplace, a lot of the women wear dresses. Like slinky, very feminine dresses with heels, and it worries me. It’s kind of creepy. The heels are quite high too. It’s very unprofessional, and I think they get positive attention from the men and they take that as an indication that they are doing a good job, so they dress more feminine. I dont’ know, actually, but it creeps me out and makes me wonder whether or not there is a culture of misogyny in this office that either hires feminine women, or feminizes the women.

By: Janis

Janis — Thu, 03 Dec 2009 19:27:33 +0000

Yipes, I think that that last comment supposedly made by Bes was actually made by me — I think I’d meant ot say, “Bes, if advancing her career … ” and put the name in the wrong slot.

If this screwed up people’s perceptions, MEA CULPA. Sorry …

By: Ann Valentine

Ann Valentine — Thu, 03 Dec 2009 19:14:39 +0000

Bes is clearly a man. I love how he classifies harassment as “work place attitudes” that you just have to be flexible with.

By: Bes

Bes — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 17:00:23 +0000

If advancing her career were all that mattered, she’d give her boss a blow job.

By: Swell528

Swell528 — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 16:30:45 +0000

You just need to firmly say “that type of comment is inappropriate for the workplace” and leave it at that. Wash, rinse, repeat, until they stop. The pigs know it’s wrong, they just need to know YOU wont tolerate it.

By: Patti

Patti — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 08:32:53 +0000

“His comments make me extremely uncomfortable. How can I address both men and let them know that their comments bother me.”

Bes, the woman stated that the comments make her extremely uncomfortable, therefore she should not have to endure them every time she sees the guy. She has a right to tell him to stop. She should not have to sacrifice herself just to make him not feel uncomfortable. This is the age old problem with women having to be the doormat just to please the man.