Casey Corcoran is with the Boston Public Health Commission and is the Director of Start Strong Initiative, a Peer Leadership Group of Boston teenagers. The opinions expressed herein are those of the author and not necessarily those of The New Agenda.

Chis Brown has an opportunity to be a powerful voice against dating violence. Six months after his violent attack on Rihanna, it has become clear that he has yet to find that voice. His first attempt was through an apology video released on his YouTube channel in early August. In the video he speaks about priding himself on his self-control, especially having seen the damage that his step-father’s “uncontrolled rage” inflicted on his mother. While many commentators and bloggers found the apology insincere and vague, it was lacking for another reason. While Chris apologized for his inexcusable actions, his apology failed to address the dangerous thinking that often underlies relationship violence.

Chris’ interview with Larry King last night gave us another glimpse of a role-model in progress. In his first sit-down interview since the indecent, Chris talks about how he is embarrassed by his violent acts, wishes it were a night “he could take back” and explains that he is still very much in love with Rihanna. He describes seeing the brutal picture of Rihanna and not being able to believe that “that actually happened”. The Los Angeles county court has mandated him to attend a batterer intervention program in Virginia that will help him better understand why he chose to act the way he did. Chris will learn that dating violence is not about losing control, but asserting control. He will learn that those violent actions and those violent words have a long history that are often grounded in beliefs shaped by gender, culture and societal norms that serve to disempower women. These beliefs thrive on silence and avoidance. Once he understands this he will truly be able to take responsibility for his actions and become the role-model he strives to be.

As adults who are committed to ending dating violence, we also have a responsibility. At the beginning of the interview, Larry King asked Chris Brown why he thought he was violent that night. Chris responded, “In relationships you lose your temper…things get heated. We’re young, nobody taught us how to control our emotions.” We need to redouble our efforts to make sure the young people in our lives have the skills to engage in healthy relationships so that the story of Chris Brown becomes a lesson learned and not a lesson repeated. Chris Brown has a long road ahead to becoming a role-model, and in order for him to be successful, it is a road that we must walk with him.