A Male Feminist’s Treatise on Sexism
July 11, 2009
by Benjamin Ring
|Opinions expressed herein are those of the author and not necessary The New Agenda.
It’s time for my treatise on Sarah Palin.
It’s been in the pipes for a while. I’ve said what I’ve can. But too often, and too long, I’ve basically been laughed out. Like Palin herself, I can take the heat; what I couldn’t — and can’t — take is the energy and time to fight those so-called feminists that have their preconceived and bogus notions about Sarah. So this is my lashing out to attack those that I can’t attack on a daily basis.
I was a Hillary Dem. Heck, scratch that: I am a Hillary Dem, and I will always stay true to that. I live in Chicago, and voted in the Michigan Primary. My vote for Hillary was stolen (well, in kinder words, re-distributed) to Barack Obama, who pulled his name off the ballot. To the Democratic elite, that was fair.
For me? It was war.
I’m a feminist. And in saying so, I’m not some “shriveled up old crone” that the media would have you believe. I am a blond haired, blue-eyed, under-thirty, college educated (2 degrees!). urban-raised-and-living, gay man from a blue collar background of FDR Democrat staunch Catholics. I’m an anomaly amongst statistical anomalies. Typically this type of labeling wouldn’t matter, but the left has made it so. You are what you vote, and as a “young, urban, college-educated gay” I should vote Democrat.
And all my chips were on Hillary. Why? Because I loved her message, and she had a resume. Hillary Clinton had a resume and she talked effortlessly about policy. Problems, solutions — the gamut. She had gravitas. Yet I was constantly shot down.
“A CLINTON?!” they cried. “She’ll do ANYTHING!!! to win! She’s a ball buster! An opportunist! She’s climbing the power structure! The chain! She wants power! Nothing more!”
These were the cries of the Obama supporters. The “bitch” was back. Even my own vote in Michigan being stifled, stolen, and re-distributed was justified. And what hurt the most? The women that raised my gay self to love women — the same women that cried out about double-standards and sexism — justified it as okay. Not just the attacks upon a consummate public servant, but a blatant violation of the democratic process. What’s worse is that one of those women was my own mother.
My mother has always been my hero. And she attacked Hillary. We fought endlessly about Hillary v. Obama, me in one camp, her in another. But when Hillary conceded? Then Hillary was rainbows and sunshine, and there was such backtracking with “I think Hillary is FANTASTIC! She’s great!”
Capitulation.
But it had nothing to do with what I received regarding Sarah Palin.
When Hillary was clearly going to be crushed by the DNC in favor of “The One” (and we Hillary supporters were hoping for a convention bloodbath!), I studied GOP potentials. I discovered Sarah Palin. In July of 2008, I consumed everything I could about her.
And I found no fault. Her personal beliefs were her own. She was fabulous! Even as a gay man — and a staunch advocate for gay rights — I admired her for vetoing legislative measures to block same-sex partnership benefits for state employees. “Drill baby, drill” was key for me, because I believed in capitalizing on the resources we have. I believed in smaller government. I believed in lower tax burdens. And, of course, there was so much more.
I wrote John McCain and told him: “I’m a Democrat. I voted for Hillary Clinton. If you select Sarah Palin as your Vice President, I will not only vote for you, but DONATE and CAMPAIGN.”
McCain selected Palin. All of my friends and family — conservative and liberal alike — texted and called me with “OMG! They picked your Alaska lady!” Verbatim. I was thrilled!
Shortly thereafter the attacks began. I had studied Palin to the tee, and even being a Democrat, I found no policy fault and no grievance. She energized me. But my friends and family changed. They challenged me on Palin as though I was ignorant regarding her record.
“She banned books!”
“She’s anti-gay!”
“She denied women rape kits!”
Naturally, I argued back with the facts to debunk every one of these lies, as all here know by now they are, but even I — a person who crowed loud and big about Palin before she was on the radar — was treated as though I had no clue about this woman. Her history. Her policy record. Suddenly, I was the novice on the “real” Sarah Palin, and everyone else was the expert. The women in my life — those closest to me — turned on this female candidate, just as they had done when I supported Hillary Clinton.
Why is the gay man the real feminist? Why am I the only one understanding the sexism at play? Women who crow about how men rise to the top, how women are not appreciated, how women world-wide are subjugated to torture and worse, were the first ones to cast stones upon a woman I thought — despite being from a different party — was electrifying.
“She can see Russia from her house!”
“Mom, I studied Russian for 4 years, and you know well enough, as do I, that Alaska was PURCHASED from Russia. Don’t buy that line; it’s disingenuous, and not even her own words.”
Not a dent. I rallied and fought. I cried out about the sexism. I linked it to Hillary and Geraldine Ferarro — who was smeared by ObamaBots as being a shriveled-up hag has-been that’s a consummate RACIST!!!!!!!!! — and how this is stoning your own.
Didn’t matter. Hope. Change. A New Direction. Even my appeals on gay rights (”Obama will not do anything!!!”) had no weight. And I’ve proven myself right on that score: no repeal on DADT, and no work on DOMA. Gays are political footballs.
But Sarah Palin was the enemy. After all, she’s Republican, right?
She’s gone back to Alaska, and the attacks haven’t ceased. Since the defeat of the McCain/Palin ticket I’ve seen some in-roads amongst the so-called “feminists” that stoned her, especially vis-à-vis the Letterman attacks (“While I was and am horrified by the McCain/Palin ticket, the misogyny… et cet et cet” one fried qualified). But nothing, ever, in actual support of Sarah Palin. It was more a passive condemnation of others, because it was safe to do so: she wasn’t challenging the patriarchal status-quo of the “Yes We Can!”
Yet overwhelmingly, the attacks continued. I’m still attacked for supporting Sarah Palin. And the worst part? My mother, the one who taught me — her gay son she loves unconditionally — to be a consummate feminist, still bleats on. She complains about the hierarchy not respecting women in smaller spheres. To her, women are sidelined for men. The men get the “fast track.”
She joined Facebook on July 2nd. My sister (a lesbian! Double whammy!) forwarded me her page. Her first status update?
“If it quacks like a duck…it must be watchin’ an Alaskan governor’s political career go down in flames!”
The hate knows no bounds. Not even amongst a family so quintessentially liberal, accepting, and feminist. Take it from me. And don’t hate on my mother: she is amazing and an exemplary American. I am as confounded by her ravenous Palin hatred as any stranger could be. I agree with her on all her key feminist points; but when it comes to politics? We reach an impasse. And I’m dumbfounded by it.
“YOUR FATHER LOST HIS JOB!!! HOW COULD YOU SUPPORT A REPUBLICAN TICKET?!” she screamed at me out of frustration after an otherwise pleasant tête-à-tête. I don’t blame parties. I blame people. And I don’t hang my ass on the strings of a star as so many did via Obamanation. I threw my chips in on Clinton who I knew — while beholden to interests (as all Presidential candidates were in ‘08) — she’d govern effectively and with a servant’s heart. She emerged into a voice for the working class by the end. But it was too little, too late, and then she subjugated herself into Obama’s claws out of “unity”. She campaigned for him. She was the good party loyalist when feminists needed a leader. So I turned to Sarah.
In reading about Sarah Palin? It was a story of a true outsider. It’s what every fat-assed blogger wished they could be, which is part-and-parcel of why so many want to tear hear down with such fervor. She fought her party (Republicans) in Alaska, and won despite the odds. She ran for Vice President, and saw a sad state of affairs regarding national politics within her own party. And through this? She is becoming our national voice.
We all hate Congress. We hate the government elite! We do! We don’t despise its founding principles, but its so-called “care-takers.” Regardless of party, we hate the status quo, the elites, the junkets, the press, the chefs, and the jets.
And Palin has now told us she’s leaving her title. She’s branching out and going to attack that status quo. No more politics as usual. She doesn’t need a title to do it, nor should she. She’s a voice for us. That is true, unabashed service to the people she has represented, and (hopefully) wishes to continually represent.
People told me a lot when I supported Palin: “You can’t compare Hillary and Sarah! They may both be women, but they are NOT THE SAME!”
At the time, it was a jab at resume — politely offered by Obamabots secure in the notion that Hillary was neutered and done — and that Palin could never aspire to Clinton’s resume. I agreed with caveats. “They’re not the same, BUT!…”
Now? I agree unabashedly and unapologetically.
Sarah Palin is NOT Hillary Clinton. Hillary could have challenged the DNC. She could have challenged Obama. She didn’t. She soldiered on for the Party’s sake, campaigning for Obama and then accepting his heavily-handicapped NuSecretary of State Position.
Sarah Palin? On July 3rd, she said “I don’t need the title, and I don’t need the party. I’m doing what’s best for Alaska, and for America”
The ‘Cuda has gone rouge, fighting for America and our best interests. She’s outside the beltway, and has dropped her title — or, has my mother Facebooked, had her career “go down in flames!!!” — so that she can be a true public servant, waking up America.
If this gay liberal can wake up and answer her call, why can’t the rest of us? We need to see more true Americans, like Sarah Palin, in our lives. Regardless of the social wars, she speaks to us as Americas, working to secure our nation, secure our wallets, and clean up the inbred elites that are choke holding Washington DC.
She preaches “North to the Future.” The MSM cries that her move is ridiculous. Sarah mentioned “Seward’s Folly” as being short-sighted, and the powers-that-be are pre-emptively writing Sarah Palin’s political obituary as some sort of “Sarah’s Folly.”
And they’re wrong. And they’ll be proven wrong.
North to the Future, Sarah. North to the Future.
Benjamin—-you are NOT alone. Your experience that you wrote about so well was shared—-and is still being shared—– by many of us. It is indeed confounding. While for me none of the explanations can explain anything about it, I do believe we’re witnessing the end of the political status quo as we have grown to know it. The conservatism of the 80’s to the present is over, and we are now seeing the death throes of the ideas of the left being played out in the current administration.
Palin and others represent a pressing of the reset button, and all of the old hot button political issues will not be relevant as we look ahead. I could be more specific, but it would take too much time. Suffice to say, whatever knee jerk reactions that the left has given against Hillary and now Sarah, are, in the scheme of things, irrelevant. In my way of seeing things, much of the ridiculous negative hype that people are putting forward against Palin is the result of uncreative minds who are letting others do the thinking for them. It’s just blind emotion not based in reality.
I believe for people who have shared our experience, a much brighter day lies ahead…..
Thank you for sharing this.
You and your mom sound a lot like me and my gay son…. ‘cept we are on opposite sides in this political battle. I am the Palin supporter and he remains a full fledged Dem. He even likes Obama.
I agree with you when you say this:
“The MSM cries that her move is ridiculous. Sarah mentioned “Seward’s Folly” as being short-sighted, and the powers-that-be are pre-emptively writing Sarah Palin’s political obituary as some sort of “Sarah’s Folly.”
And they’re wrong. And they’ll be proven wrong.
North to the Future, Sarah. North to the Future.”
Much of my blogging this past few days has been about exactly what you are saying…
Keep up the excellent work!
SYD
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Benjamin,
I am a long-time HRC supporter and while I voted for the Obama/Biden (ticket), I admire and respect what you are saying about Sarah Palin. As I have mentioned in other posts, she does represent the “every person” in a way the other candidates simply do not and she has been unfairly and ruthlessly attacked.
For me, while I believe in her brand (smaller government, lower taxes, assistance for small businesses, helping the average joe), I simply do not believe in her authenticity, nor that she believes in fostering a country where a respect for diversity and inclusion (GLBT, immigrants, minorities, etc.) would flourish. I was offended by the xenophobia expressed by the McCain/Palin ticket.
I hope over the next months and years, I am proven wrong and I could vote for her in 2012.
Your story is my story – the whole thing from A to Z – except I’m not gay. I’m a 57 yo single woman living in NYC since 1977 — and, I’ve voted straight ticket Dem all my life and until this election I believed I knew the definition of “liberal” and “feminist”. I was squarely on-board for every plank the Dems offered until the DNC selected Obama as their candidate over one who had actually won the nomination.
My eyes were forever opened, as yours were and those of millions of others.
I naturally took more than a second look at Palin and liked what I saw. I still do. I applaud you for your perserverance and for acting in ways that befits a citizen of a free country.
And, I have been beaten up for my views in the same way you have, with the same words (not a coincidence!) – by a handful of close friends and family. The friends who used transparent propaganda of Os campaign are gone; I can’t kick out my family.
I still don’t get why women can’t support other women from vitriolic sexist degrading damaging and shameful attacks on their character, family and everything they stand for.
I am appalled that after a lifetime of living feminist liberal values – my opinion carries no weight. It’s entirely dismissed and I’m someone who has “studied” politics as you as so many other dedicated citizens have my entire life!
I truly hope that groups like TNA will make a difference. (HT to Amy for crafting a non-partisan mission with broad appeal. Please know, I’m in your camp!)
Thank you for your commitment. Have a brilliant day!
I offer condolences for your pain. Meanwhile, you have found passion for what this Politian represents to you. I hope that you follow your passion.
I am hopeful that this unmasking of the deep-seated sexism and misogymy in the Democratic Party will lead to improvements in our society. I will continue to be to the left of the Democratic Party in total, but still a member. As I protested the Obama campaign in ’08, I likely will abstain in the Presidential column in 2012. It is, however, possible that the Republican Party could get me to cross over by putting forth a woman candidate for the top position.
[...] A Male Feminist's Treatise on Sexism : The New Agenda By Benjamin Ring But nothing, ever, in actual support of Sarah Palin. It was more a passive condemnation of others, because it was safe to do so: she wasn't challenging the patriarchal status-quo of the “Yes We Can!” Yet overwhelmingly, the attacks … The New Agenda – http://thenewagenda.net/ [...]
Bravo Benjamin Ring. Your post “rings” true for me as well. (Sorry, I couldn’t resist.) Like you I am confounded. When I am discouraged, I come to this blog and I begin to have hope. Thanks.
What an amazing article. I’ve been dumbfounded by the vile hatred I’ve witnessed against Sarah Palin. People I thought were tolerant, intelligent and caring turned into hateful, hurtful people over her. True Palin Derangement Syndrome runs rampant.
Benjamin thank you! As an avid HIllary supporter (lifelong rabid Democrat) as well and someone who knew too much about the shenanigans and basic bs of the Obama campaign I was looking for an alternative. When Sarah Palin was chosen I did a google search and found so many positive stories about this crusading young hope and corruption fighting maverick of the GOP- even in Newsweek! Now it’s hard to find those stories- many I’m afraid have been pulled. The vast left wing conspiracy crowd of opposition researchers landed in Alaska and tore apart any tidbit of authenticity and shred of truth. Obama never had the same scrutiny- Shame on what was once my party- the same party that decried the Republicans for doing the same.
I have very few “well educated” women friends (and painfully my feminist daughter) who will even consider the possibility that Palin has an ounce of intelligence.
Again- thank you for this gift to those of us who sometimes think we must be crazy- guess we are- like a fox.
Thank you for this post. I could identify with and relate to a lot of what you wrote.
I cannot believe what happened first with Hillary Clinton and the media and then Sarah Palin and the media. I had a lot of heated discussions about Clinton and my friends at least listened to me, but once Sarah Palin came to the stage they looked at me like I had lost my marbles. Suffice to say I soon realized I was talking to walls and gave up.
But I’m not giving up the fight. Like Sarah Palin I have redirected my course. To my horror I have woken up to the realization that what I believed is no longer. I believed that the so called left was carrying the banner for women. I believed their message of what feminism is. In this past election with their fierce push for power, they exposed their agenda for power, not for feminism and greater equality. (I know the issue is not as simplistic, but that is a whole another rant) I was walking with my eyes closed, but no more. Now I’m awake and watching, paying attention and learning.
So thank you for your words. Sorry for the long ramble.
OT: about the media bias, did anyone read the Carl Cannon article posted 07/08/09 in Politics Daily about the media bias? Plus, interestingly Politico had an article about Huffington post yesterday by Michael Calderone. Huffington post spread many of the lies about Sarah Palin. Both very interesting reads. Is the media finally waking up? Or are they just trying to tut tut about the past to appease the growing dissatisfaction over the media bias, but not do anything to change their behavior? Interesting to watch what happens.
[...] 25, 2009 · 2 Comments The New Agenda: A Male Feminist’s Treatise on Sexism. Beautifully written. There are millions who are heartbroken like [...]
Wow as one of those” shriveled up” old feminists, I salute you.Brilliantly set out- sorry for all you are going through
Beautifully written. There are millions who are heartbroken like you. You are not alone.
Great post. I love what Sarah stands for. I doubt anything will happen to make the Democrat party do some soul searching. They are just so pleased that they are not (Republicans) that they are not worried about what they are which is hypocritical misogynists. I have always been an Independant but tended to vote Democrat. No more. I am now a registered Republican. But I actually think both parties suck and that if we don’t dislodge all of the special interests who distort our government we are close to collapse. Us folks on the west coast also do not need a bunch of east coast people (media and politicians) to tax us and tell us how to live. I really think it is too late for our country.
Benjamin, I can relate. I was a huge Hillary supporter and am a huge Sarah supporter. Your experience closely mirrors my own.
When I say anything that is not anti-Palin, I’m treated like the village idiot. But I feel the need to say it in case there are others out there who feel the same. They should feel comfortable speaking out and know they aren’t the only one. Thanks for sharing your story. Let’s hope what Cynthia says is true. I like the way it sounds.
I believe for people who have shared our experience, a much brighter day lies ahead…..
Wow Benjamine.
Thank you for this.
Thank you for your article Benjamin. Well done.
No question, Sarah Palin is a force to be reckoned with. She represents the best of what is good in people and is a breath of fresh air into the world of politics.
Those who viciously attack her, will lose. Their hatred is rooted in fear. The American public is slowly waking up to this fact and I believe, when all is said and done, will support her.
Sarah Palin is a fighter and a winner. Her best days are still yet to come.
Keep up the good work Benjamin and thanks again.
thanks benjamin for sharing. as you see you are in a crowd.
just read an opinon piece in the NYT Mark Rich. What I got from it is, that Sarah Palin is the only star and charismatic figure the republicans have. but that this would not matter since she represents rural America and makes it appear like the overal American face. He claims that the diversity of America is not covered in the Palin movement. now, I say the diversity of America is not covered in the Obamanation. and worse we are having the national counting of citizens coming up with acorn involved. I can see the attempt to skew the numbers even more to the urban clique. the government we are having now is anything but inclusive.
Add another me too. My husband is still shocked that the day before the announcement I predicted McCain would pick Palin. I too had “searched” for a VP pick that would make sense and stumbled on Governor Palin. I thought her outsider, maverick image would fit with McCain and shake up the race. Little did I know, the media machine would kick into action and recast Palin as an imbecile. I was disgusted with what happened last fall- and am shocked that the hatred and vitriol against this woman continues.
Thank you so much! I’m in the same place (though at least my mom, who claims to detest ideas Palin doesn’t actually have, respects her as an independent and intelligent woman). I was a Hillary girl, and when they started pressing her to step down when she was more or less running neck and neck, I said, “Wait a minute! How does this make sense except as, ‘It’s okay honey, the man is here now’?” Then McCain, about whom I was singularly unenthusiastic, picked Sarah Palin, who I’d read about earlier and liked, and I was thrilled. She went against all the silly bromides about how, to be feminist, you had to be frumpy and dull and support X,Y, and Z non-related political positions–she was feminist simply by virtue of being, dare I say it, genuinely free.
But then the attacks started. And they kept going.
When she resigned, I started to tell a friend that I thought it was a bad precedent that filing frivolous complaints could be used to drive a sitting governor out of office–in other words, it wasn’t even really related to SP in particular–but before I could even get to the main point, the Sarah-bash started.
I’m sick of this. Everyone’s sick of it, I think… so why did we reward the candidate whose campaign used it?
Benjamin, you speak for me. Add me to the list of those who feel exactly what you feel. Thank you!!
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