Why we should EVEN have Nancy Pelosi’s back…
May 27, 2009
by Amy Siskind
|Score a victory for women!
Within 24 hours of The New Agenda issuing a press release and action alert about the RNC’s below the belt “Pussy Galore” video attacking Nancy Pelosi, the RNC had the good sense to pull it down. As one member wrote: “See how little it takes to get people to stop doing what they know is wrong? Too bad we weren’t properly mobilized in January of 2008. ” Too bad indeed! But we’re ready now (remember to donate if you can while we build out our national infrastructure!).
Thanks to all the members who took the time to send emails or call the RNC and Michael Steele. But for all the members that were outraged by the “Pussy Galore” video and took the time to write or call – for all those that stood up for a woman that they did or did not like because the video had crossed the line, there were some who looked at it differently. For others, Nancy Pelosi was on their “list” and therefore she was not worth defending.
And let me tell you this – having the back of Nancy Pelosi was not easy for me either. I have seen Nancy Pelosi attack the first viable women presidential candidate from her own party which to me is inexcusable. I’ve seen her vitriol towards a VP candidate from the Republican Party. I’ve also seen her turn on women in Congress at her own whim. Suffice it say, she ain’t my fav! But the role of The New Agenda is to expose all forms of unfair and discriminatory treatment against women – not just our favs – all women.
And sometimes that ain’t easy: to defend a woman who has hardly been a friend to other women. In fact, since we started The New Agenda, I’ve had to do quite a bit of soul searching myself. One habit that I am proactively moving away from is my old fallback of keeping “lists” of enemies. My natural instinct was that since Pelosi turned on Hillary, I should turn on Pelosi. You know, Pelosi was on my “list”.
And I, like many women, was used to keeping lists. In my career on Wall Street, keeping lists was a survival mechanism. I recall a conversation with a colleague, Tony Cline, who was a 6′6″, 250 lb former NFL tight-end. Tony was having an “issue” with a client, so I told Tony to have the client call me – to which Tony replied: “He’s not going to call you. He’s scared of you. We’re all scared of you.” See on Wall Street keeping a list works.
But in the world of women on women, keeping lists can be an unmitigated disaster. If we hope to make this world better for women and girls, we need to start by finding a better way to treat one another. As I wrote earlier this month in my piece Not too Hot, Not too Cold, women are so darn hard on other women. Give it a rest sisters. None of us are perfect – either individually or as an organization.
Sometimes it seems that if we don’t get it 100% right, it’s time for destruction. Some might call this the “Mean Girls” Syndrome. Here’s some of emails in my inbox about our decision to speak out on the “Pussy Galore” video:
- What’s APPALING is Botoxnan. She was horrid to Hillary and her supporters spreading untruths and sexism She is the biggest disappointment to millions of women, myself included.. She deserves what she is getting.
- I’m sorry but I hate Nancy Pelosi! After how she treated Hillary, she is on my shit list! I don’t care what the RNC or ANYBODY says about this bitch!!!
- IF YOUR ORGANIZATION HAD ANYTHING TO DO WITH PULLING THIS VIDEO OF A SHAMEFUL WOMAN WHO CARED NOTHING OF STABBING HILLARY CLINTON IN THE BACK, THEN I WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU.
So let me get this straight – because Nancy Pelosi does not support women, we should vilify her? We should allow an open season on sexism against her? What good does that do? Cuz the next time the RNC does the video, having got away with it the first time, the video will feature Hillary Clinton or Sarah Palin or someone we like. Sexism left unchecked is like a weed that grows and flourishes. Well the good news is that it ain’t growing unchecked anymore. The New Agenda is whacking the weeds and now setting up a national infrastructure to get down at the roots and take those out too!
But if we are truly to succeed, we need to work together. When The New Agenda spoke out for Nancy Pelosi, we are modeling and rewarding the kind of behavior women need in order to move forward. Maybe Pelosi doesn’t get that now – maybe she never will. But we must remember this – that many women in this country have never been the beneficiary of having other women have their back, and so, they don’t know what it looks like. Well we know what it looks like, and TNA will walk the walk and talk the talk. Let’s hope Pelosi learns a lesson and next time thinks twice.
And as The New Agenda stood alone in defending and speaking out for Sarah Palin when it was unpopular to do so, so will we have the back of other women when they are victims of sexist treatment that crosses the line. A conservative women’s site called The Pink Flamingo wrote on their site:
There is a site called The New Agenda, that is “dedicated to improving the lives of women”. I did an archive search and have discovered that TNA did a very good job, and still does of supporting Sarah Palin because of the fact that she is a woman, not because of politics of political party. They are giving Sotomeyer the same treatment.
So for those of you that are disappointed with our decision to speak out about the “Pussy Galore” video, that is okay. Remember the old ad for Motel 6 about leaving the light on. The New Agenda is here, we’re moving forward and spreading our wings to fly. And we realize that some of you might not choose to be with us on every step of our journey. That’s fine too. But we’ll leave the light on and hope that you’ll come back to walk with us on this last mile to equality.
And as Cynthia Ruccia wrote in January that she was Eating Crow for Caroline Kennedy, well looks like I’ll be eating some crow for Nancy Pelosi.
Amy-
I realize to some i am just te male troll here, but your point is right on. It is as I explained in my discussion of Sotomayer- sometimes you just have to hold your nose and take the medicine- Pelosi is a vile,spiteful, manipulative liar- but even she does not deserve to be Palinized- even though she was a major perpetrator of it. if the goal is the elimination of Palinizing of women in politics it must be attacked at every opportunity. Carrie Prejean, Sarah Palin, Nancy Pelosi, wherever it is found. By te same token, to break the numerous ceiling women still face- women candidates and nominees must be supported irrespective of agendas because otherwise my fellow men of both parties and all races, will use it to divide conquer and deny women the equality they are entitled to. Great job steering this group and the advances you have made so quickly .
… because Nancy Pelosi does not support
women, we should vilify her?
Rephrase that: because Nancy Pelosi does not support women, we should allow men to degrade and humiliate her? We shuld stand back and permit men to degrade and sexually humiliate another woman, and even cheerlead it?
I’m sorry, WHAT?! Do these women think that the men who do this stuff can tell the difference between good and upstanding liberal women and bitchez who had it coming? If you allow MEN (and women) to get away with this, you have given them tacit approval to do it to any woman they please. You have allowed the creation of a media-driven cultural monster that can and will be turned against ALL WOMEN EVERYWHERE. Like I’ve said before, if you want to eradicate smallpox and you only inoculate people you like, you’re not going to succeed. It’s nto a matter of not being “nice” or “fair,” it’s a matter of utter and total failure.
Men who do this nonsense can’t tell the difference between good little cloth-supermarket-bag using vegan eco-friendly women and bitches who deserve it. In order to be stopped from doing it to ANY woman, they must be smacked down hard when they do it to ANY woman. Or else they will turn on the ones we like eventually.
But I guess some women who call themselves feminist think that sexual degradation and humiliation is a great thing to keep around and whip out in service of feminism once in a while. Just ignore the smell of burning irony. How they think they can make use of sexism and woman-hatred without losing control of it escapes me. To my way of thinking, saying that a woman bring it on herself or deserves it because of her short skirt or the drink she had at the bar is awfully close to saying she brought it on herself or deserves it because of her politics. Both ways, the men are being completely ignored and sexism is being treated like a perpetrator-free lightning strike that just “happens” to women who are out of favor with the powers that be to knock them in line.
I wonder if these women who would throw the admittedly pathetic Pelosi to the sharks even considered the motivations of the men who authored this video? If they even imagined them or gave them a moment’s thought? Just like the hateful newspaper headlines that say “a woman was raped today” instead of “a man raped a woman today,” they didn’t even think to attribute the event to some twisted men’s conscious decision to degrade Pelosi based on the one characteristics we all share with her.
Let me summarize: if you don’t inoculate the people you dislike, EVEN YOUR FRIENDS WILL DIE FRMO THE DISEASE.
If you allow men to degrade and humiliate a woman you dislike, what do you think those men will do once there is no woman who dislike around to humiliate? THAT is why we must SMASH THAT BEHAVIOR FLAT WHEREVER IT OCCURS. If Nancy ends up meeting karma in the face someday, it SHUOLD have nothing to do with her pussy. Let her get smacked in the face with a different sort of rake.
God, how stupid these woman can be to imagine that men who degrade and humiliate like this will just patiently and obediently sit by and wait until some woman someplace feels the need to send them out to knock someone in line. *sigh*
We need to recast this in our minds: we’re not defending women who don’t deserve it. We’re attacking men who do.
I can get behind that in a cold minute. I’m not being Nancy-Wancy’s BFF. I’m attacking the patriarchy. We REALLY NEED to get straigth in our heads just who the enemy is here — the patriarchy. PERIOD. Otherwise it’s like letting a rabid dog roam your neighborhood because it just happened to have not attacked your kid yet.
We’re not defending someone who isn’t in our clique. We’re ATTACKING MEN WHO SEXUALLY HUMILIATE WOMEN. Sign my ass up.
“We need to recast this in our minds: we’re not defending women who don’t deserve it. We’re attacking men who do.”
Well said, Janis. And thanks to TNA for taking such a principled stance.
I admit I felt conflicted at the idea of TNA going to bat for Pelosi. But it’s not about her. The parallel to innoculation is apt. The disease of sexism must be stamped out everywhere, no matter who is being targeted. No woman deserves rape, whether physical or psychological.
As for Nancy, leave her to heaven. If women could rise to political heights entirely on merit, not on how complicit they are with the patriarchal status quo, who knows where she’d rate.
*****A
The ‘old boy’ network backed with considerable money more than likely deemed the Pelosi/Galore had run its course though I have no doubt the confrontation that occured over the ad was noted by them. I doubt they were able to totally ignore it. They have to now ask how many of the majority ( women) are truly in this camp?? 6 months ago, there was no vehicle for such confrontation but now there is, now there is.
“We need to recast this in our minds: we’re not defending women who don’t deserve it. We’re attacking men who do.”
Yes. YES. YES!!!
Such clarity. It is the only way.
No woman deserves rape, whether
physical or psychological.
And ahead of that, no man gets a free pass for it. EVER. NO MAN, no matter who happens at random to be the current object of his verb.
I feel like I should also specify something that any braindead idiot should be able to tell, but I’ve learned that there re a lot of braindead idiots in the world: Nowhere did I say I’m about attacking men. I’m about attacking men who degrade and humiliate women. I’m not about shooting all the dogs, just the rabid ones.
And I might add that if even I can tell the difference — loud, angry me who doesn’t really like men at all to be honest — that these other women here who are doubtless much calmer and more reasonable, who may have married or given birth to one of yallz, are likely to be even more understanding and generous.
So if even a self-admitted female supremacist 100-percenter like me can tell the difference between men who deserve it and men who don’t, just unclench your sphincter and relax, okay buddy? You’re not in any damned danger. You’ll be fine.
[...] unlike the 20th century feminists who were silent while Sarah Palin was attacked. As a reader commented about this story at The New Agenda, “We need to recast this in our minds: We’re not [...]
I am having a hard time coming to the defense of Pelosi, although I do think this ad is sexist.
For me, would we defend a racist person or someone who contributed to racism if that racist person gets a racist attack thrown at them? I think not.
So in some situations an eye for an eye is warranted. We can stick up for women. But are we required to stick up for sexist women too?
mslas,
this is about letting this video get into the national dialogue…next time it will be hillary or carolyn maloney or olympia snowe…who knows. we can’t let blatant sexist attacks stand.
Very hard to defend a gender sellout like Pelosi but it’s right.
Twisty has a good name for gender sellouts: patriarchyists.
donna,
i agree and it was hard for me to come to also….but it’s about wiping out this behavior…if we don’t it continues and both parties us it against women (neither gives a sh*t about us really).
for example, the dnc used the palin is not smart successfully in 2008 – the rnc sees this success and now uses it on soyomayor…it’s like the same bad record being played again and again.
I’ll let stronger stomachs prevail if Brazile is attacked.
This Pelosi business is more serious than this silly attack. Democrats and Republicans want her out of the way so Obama can do what he was elected to do, cut Social Security.
“We are out of money now”
Cuts in Social Security, Medicare to pay for bank bailouts
LOL donna!
mslas, if you don’t “stick up” for even women you don’t like when they are attacked in a sexist way, you ARE sticking up for … well, not to put too fine a opint of it, you are sticking up for rape.
You okay with that?
You’re saying sexism and sexual humiliation are okay in some instances. You’re the government acting like you want to eradicate smallpox when you’re really keeping a little vial of it around in case it might come in handy.
You’re saying that you’re happy to have a rabid dog roaming your block because, occasionally at random, it bites people you don’t like. Might it someday bite you as well? Sure — but that’s a risk yuo’re willing to subject yourself, your kids, and people you do like to, in order to take visceral pleasure in the suffering of people you don’t like.
You enjoy watching some bitch get hers so badly that you’ll let a rabid dog run loose that threatens everyone? Really?
donna, I despise Brazilezebub, too.
BUT I DESPISE SEXUAL DEGADATION MORE. What’s higher on your outrage scale?
Seriously. Do we really hate women who cave more than we hate men who rape? Are we holding women to tougher standards than we’re holding men to? Are we more willing to forgive a man for sexually humiliating a woman than we’re willing to forgive a woman for being an asshole? What are our standards, here?
Also (sorry, I’ll shut up someday, I suppose) — if you say that you are in effect willing to tolerate that rabid dog in your neighborhood because it occasionally gives you the pleasure of biting someone you don’t like … you’re trusting the dog to tell the difference! Holy crap on a cracker, people.
Janis, don’t ever shut up.
The idea is if Pelosi et al get a taste of their own medicine like NARAL is getting right now maybe they won’t sell out women next time.
And if the men who degraded her get a taste of OUR medicine, maybe THEY’ll think twice. Which is more important to you?
[...] heard me preaching about unity on our blog here and here. And I’m going to keep going and try to win over women and like minded men one by one and [...]
[...] been a hot topic here and elsewhere lately: why did The New Agenda bother to defend Nancy Pelosi, who went out of her [...]
I admit that when I received the email alert on having Pelosi’s back I cringed in horror. I appreciate the explanation, and do agree that it’s better to be principled and consistent than emotionally dance you deserve it you deserve it – but I confess it wasn’t my first reaction.
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