A year ago today…
December 27, 2008
by Amy Siskind
|
Where were you a year ago today?
A year ago today, I was in New Hampshire volunteering for Hillary Clinton’s campaign. I was bundled up in my warmest parka, snow boots, gloves and hat. I was canvassing from door to door knocking and handing out brochures.
A year ago today, I was a lifelong Democrat. At every election – be it a national, state or local election – the Democratic Party could count on my vote. I would blindly pull down the lever for the candidate with the “D” next to his or her name: never taking notice that the candidate with the “R” or “I” or “G” might be a woman.
A year ago today, I was the lone person at work who would admit to voting Democrat. I was chided and teased. I was called a sucker that did not “get it.” I fought back with pride each time. I was proud to be a Democrat. The Democratic Party was the party for equality and helping those less fortunate. The Democratic Party was the party that stood up for women.
A year ago today, I believed that the women of this country were on an upward trajectory. That with each passing year we were making progress in politics, business, academia and sports. That any setbacks were but small speed bumps on the way forward.
A year ago today, I believed that by time my daughter or her daughter were grown-up, there would be equality of the sexes in this country. In fact, this was so self-evident, that I did not give it a second thought.
And then came the Democratic Primary. And then came the grave mistreatment of Hillary Clinton while the Democratic Party stood idly by, or cheered it on. And then I saw. What I saw was not anything new. What I saw had been there all along. But I just hadn’t seen it. Or maybe I hadn’t been willing to see it. And then I was awakened.
It’s when you are canvassing the projects in North Philly asking for a vote. And you happen upon a woman who lives in a tenement whose windows have been replaced by cardboard boxes. And when you knock to ask her for her vote, she cries instead about raising her child alone. And her son is in trouble at school. And no one will listen. And no one will help.
It’s when your 5th grade daughter’s friend gets into your car after school one day. And her friend is crying because a gang of boys had acted out on her. And the girl is told she is a “bitch” and a “whore” by a pack of circling boys for breaking up with their friend. And then you see that it starts very early. And then you notice the familiarity of those words as having heard them in prime time on the cable news. And then, with eyes now open, you realize that you can no longer sit at the sidelines and still live with yourself.
And so a journey starts. And so you choose to put everything else in your life aside. And so you choose to fight for the woman in North Philly and the 10 year-old girl. And so you do your best every day. And so you speak out and stand up when others will not. And so you endure criticism from the left, right and center. And so you close your eyes and sigh when the very women you vowed to fight for are your loudest and harshest critics.
But you know you cannot go back. That what has started must continue. That this has nothing to do with you, and everything to do with those without a voice. And so you battle on day after day. And so, in the quiet moments, you remember the tears of the woman in North Philly and the 10 year-old girl. And in your quiet moments, you are thankful for the awakening. And in your quiet moments, you vow to battle on and not stop.
Great post Amy Siskand.
We close our eyes to survive. It’s really difficult to look at the reality of women’s status in the world, including in the US, and still manage to get out of bed each morning. There are a million little lies we tell ourselves just so we can keep putting one foot in front of the other. We learn to distance ourselves from the reality that is all around us.
It’s important to find moments when you can close you eyes again. Too much of this horror will rot your soul. If we want to be around for a long time fighting the good fight, taking good care of ourselves has to be a priority.
Amy, ,I really relate to what you wrote. I’ve always considered myself a feminist, but still, I think I’ve excused a lot of sexism in the past because I was able to categorize it in my mind as only personal – as in the situation you described with the school yard boys surrounding the girl and screaming “whore”.
This year I have seen how men and women have used sexism to benefit their own “personal” and political ideas. And suddenly my view of my friends, neighbors, country all fell apart. Of course I still love my friends and country but we are not as aware as I thought we were. And this has been a heart wrenching discovery.
the comments on”bitch” and “whore” are especially resonant with me. I have been a lifelong democrat until I heard those words thrown at the two female candidates in this election cycle. I assumed sexism was a characteristic of the republicans. These words were thrown at female candidates by members of the democrats. I have been changed forever.
Wonderful, Amy.
We call that “the click”. After you’ve experienced it, you can never go back.
BRAVO, Amy.
- – – – – –
“SHADOW” now . . . and “SHADOW” forever!
“Stop Humiliation And Disparagement Of Women”
Thank you for the great article, Amy.
It reminds me too that I’m not alone in my anguish over the status of women in this country.
This election was the source of my epiphany too. I was a registered Republican who was absolutely sickened by the way HRC was being treated by her party and the MSM. I changed my party affiliation to “non-partisan” so that I could vote for her in the primary and I very proudly supported her candidacy.
Even then I could never imagine how much worse it was going to get. for her, for Palin, and for women in general.
You’re right, once you become aware, you can never go back, no matter how excruciating this new awareness may be.
I will never affiliate myself with any political party again and I will do everything in my power to get women elected and correct this sickening inequity.
TNA is a source of great hope for me. Thank you for all you do and have done.
Amy -
Yup. Yes. Uh-huh. I agree. Been there. Woke up. Now I’m here.
Great article. I was talking to someone about “the click” a few weeks ago and comparing it to The Matrix. Sometimes I wish I hadn’t taken that pill… it was so much easier to just believe that women were making progress.
This is the first article I have read in a week. Sometimes days go by and I just can’t keep fighting and thinking about it all. But then it doesn’t go away, so you take a deep breath and dive back in.
Re: artwork repro
Probably wise to credit the artist. (Not to mention getting the rights for repro.)
Is this a Picasso? If so, not so much in the women dept!
Nah, probably not Picasso, but some other artist influenced by cubism. (Sorry, I’m talking to myself…)
Here is some detial from a new poll about support for BO etc:
http://www.hillaryis44.org/?p=825#comment-229279
LOL – the pill and matrix.
Yes, the “awakening” or whatever THIS is, is a very mixed blessing. But we must not forget. It takes disturbing events such as the treatment of Hillary and Sarah to open our eyes. And now that they ARE open, we must all stick together and work together. I am convinced that we CAN make things better.
Your article is a big flashback for me. This was the year I de-Democratic Party’ed. Early in the year I wrote the Women’s Media Center about the sexism, offering to help (twice). Nada, zip, zero, zilch for a reply. I sent articles around to friends about the sexism. Most saw it merely has a plea for support for Sen. Clinton. Duh. And they just couldn’t take a break from their koolaid. One friend would write protests too. I saw too many liberal well-educated women later on with the vilest sort of words against Palin.
This is also the year that some friendships cooled because of the election. I hear that from a niece too and see it on the blogs. Divide and conquer, women to the side, slurp the koolaid, hopey changey sexism and misogyny…here we are at the N.A., uniting.
Was that what was meant by “I can unite people” ???
NMK-
Hey that’s a good point! Maybe he is living up to his promise to unite after all!
About a year ago this time I was watching the coverage, assuming Hillary would be the nominee, and then I started thinking, “Is it just me or is this getting nastier and nastier?” As a Republican I started by using “they” statements. You know like “ooh are THEY going to let him get away with that?”
or “Boy THEY are going to get him for that one!”
And then the silence.
I started thinking the world had gone mad. The Dems were tearing apart one of their own in the most sexist ways I had ever heard. Silence from NOW, silence from the media, even Hillary said almost nothing and then was mocked when she’d finally had it.
Then one day a female friend of mine emailed me the most vile Hillary joke I have ever heard and something snapped. I finally realized that “THEY” was me too and sitting in silence made me an accomplice. I didn’t know at the time that it would get even worse for Sarah Palin but was glad I didn’t have to feel like a hypocrite defending her. From now on when the attacks are sexist rather than policy based, I will always be on “HER” side whoever “SHE” is.
Thia, it feels good to hear you (or anyone) say that.
I am “Her”, we are all “Her”. At least there are some women left that will stand together. And if we stand together and make enough noise, there will be more that will wake up and join us.
stand up, sisters! let us savor our bitterness and embrace our victimhood!
Attack on ideology all you want, but do not let your ideology be an excuse for allowing sexism to occur as it did with Palin. To many liberals looked the other way because she wasnt speaking their ideology
I found the below at teamsarah.org, thought it might be on interest
“Women are complex and seldom are defined by a political party’s doctrine or dogma. We may lean left or right or be in the center on different issues, all at the same time. We have power in pooling our resources and working together, celebrating what we have in common instead of being exploited and divided by our differences. We can all learn from each other, I look forward to learning from your viewpoint.”
Bruce: yes and thanks
Amy, great post. I have previously always voted Democrat and who knows, may do so in the future under the same “lesser of evils” method I used this time around (which didn’t result, for me, in voting Dem). But my earlier conviction that being more progressive on social policies generally meant being less likely to pillory a woman has certainly gone the way of film in a camera. It’s disillusioning. But you’re making something positive out of it. Kudos.
Very nice find Bruce.
Do you think Sarah is reading here? I betcha.
Happy new year, you betcha LOL
Leave your Response
Supporting women.
Ending sexism.
Finding common ground.
We’re in the Media »
Click to see our latest stories in the media
More Stories »Recent Comments
The Latest from our Blog
Archives
Blogroll
Find the New Agenda Online
Subscribe Entries (RSS) | Comments (RSS)
The New Agenda is a 501(c)(4) organization dedicated to improving the lives of women and girls by bringing about systemic change in the media, at the workplace, at school and at home. More...